Scummy Mummy

I’ve worn make up since i was roughly 14 years old.  i didn’t have to dabble in my mums make up bag she came to me and asked would i like some make up, i was fortunate enough that she took me straight to the local Clinique counter to have my make up done and have the basics bought for me.  Christmas fast approached and my presents were literally everything i could get my hands on from Clinique.

Scummy mummy

Since then it still remains my all time favourite brands and has never failed me, from make up to skin care products ive literally tried everything they had to offer.  At 35 with my 36th lurking in the nearish future my make up bag currently stocks at least a few of Cliniqes products along with added Max Factor and Mac, unfortunately the contents only leave the bag a couple of times a week at best.

As a mummy of 6 beautiful children my time is firmly focused on them and keeping my house neat and tidy (although if you visit unannounced you will most definitely find one or two children’s toys strewn across my living room and a random shoe most likely sat at the top of my stairs).

On a general day my cleaning and tidying will start literally from the moment i put my feet on the floor, i quickly make the beds and clear up the remnants of whatever the kids have been playing with that morning (usually something they shouldn’t like my sewing kits).  Ill brush my teeth and have a wash/shower and pull on either a clean pair of pj’s or my staple black leggings and some sort of black t shirt, i keep my regular clothes for the days im out so the bog standard black comfy stuff always makes an appearance.  The hair gets a quick brush and literally thrown in a knot on the top of my head, if im feeling adventurous ill sling a hair band or head scarf around for a bit of colour and im good to go.

Bog standard mummy

Its not that i have no desire to look nice every day, i do, the compulsion is still there from before i had kids, the days when i washed and straightened my hair every single day, the slap was put on in full, the nails were always painted and the roots were always touched up.  I managed this until baby number 4, when finally i succumbed to comfort rather than beauty.

Before baby number 4

When i do make the effort to put my face on i do tend to do it in full depending on the look im going for, i love red lipstick and not only does it make teeth look whiter it also makes your lips look fuller, (always a good idea to entice the hubby for a cheeky smooch when the kids aren’t looking).  Its times when im wearing my make up that i will volunteer to have pictures taken with the hubby or the kids.  This isn’t the only time i have my picture taken but in as far as posting it on social media for all the world to see.

Red lipstick is my first love

My husband loves me with or without make up but he is partial to no make up at all so has a tendency to take photographs of me when he sees me at my best, which for me is usually my worst.  I can be rolling around on the floor with the kids or in the middle of doing the dishes when i feel an arm around my waist and a phone in front of my face, my very clean, very bare face, hair looking like a burst mattress wearing an old t shirt that i love to sleep in that belonged to my dad.  I hate these types of photographs im there in all my glory for everyone to see, every bump, every blemish, the scar that’s so prominent on my forehead without make up, i literally loath them.  I will sit and dissect each little mark, pore etc, the hubby gets told in no uncertain terms to delete them, i know he doesn’t delete them but he knows his life wont be worth living if he shows anyone.

Scummy wifey

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I make a point of only posting what i class as the reasonable photos, i get likes on my social media and for some reason it makes me all the more aware of how i look, the dreaded confirmation that someone has actually looked at my mush, its very rare you will find me alone on the pictures, there’s always a small child or my hubby for company.

you look different on your Facebook pictures” is something i have heard in the past, not sure whether to take offence i wonder what to make of that comment, are they saying i merely look a bit happier or brighter, or is it in fact i look alright on Facebook in reality im an ugly bitch who needs a bag over her head, i honestly don’t know.

I do pride myself on being very good at hiding a multitude of sins with make up, i can make myself look happier, more alert, thinner, more toned, tanned you name it i can do it, ive picked up many tricks of the trade over the years and i use them to my advantage given half the time.  But for the most part, quite frankly i just cant be arsed!!!!! i love having a clean and tidy home, i love spending time with my kids and my husband i love sewing and drawing and talking to my friends, i love my neighbours coming around for a brew or something to eat and while id like to say i do all this with a full face on and wearing my best clothes, there simply just isn’t the time and something has to give.

So i will go on inflicting my unmade mug on the world, my leggings that could do with being a bit less slack on the bum and my t shirts that sometimes cling too much to my post natal, wobbly belly, im a mummy and im happy with that so what if ive chipped my toe nail polish or my fake nails need a bit of TLC, this doesn’t make me a bad person this makes me human, a loving wife, a good friend and yes sometimes a scummy mummy but nevertheless ill do it and ill make sure i’ll do it while grabbing mummy hood by the balls!!!!!!

Bit of a filter and a bit of lippy

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