parent

Freedom of childhood

 

Oh to be three years old again! That time in your life where you are starting to become old enough to appreciate little things in your life, birthdays, cake, crayons, the list is endless.  

Its also a time where in my opinion, you are at your most free, not in the sense of time but more in the sense of who you are and the traits that you have, everything comes extremely natural, you are who you are.  Insecurities such as low self esteem or self doubt are usually limited and you do and say exactly as you want.

One of my favourite quotes is “out of the mouths of babes” and this is so true, you will always get an honest opinion or response from a small child, there will never be that option of “well i might hurt mummy’s feelings if i tell her i don’t like my dinner so i’ll just say i do”, this doesn’t happen, children are programmed to say it like it is.

This is something for me that i feel so strongly about, I want my children to be free to be exactly who they are.  I don’t want them to conform to societies standards and change their natural persona, in fact I encourage my children (all 6 of them) to be exactly who they are, whether they are interpreted as “odd” or “strange” in later life who cares! noone worth their time at least.

Myself and my husband are quite alternative in our relationships with our children, don’t get me wrong we are strict when the situation arises, but we do our best to allow the children to have their own freedom and not stifle who they are.

An example of this is my 6 year old son Oliver, he loves anything alternative, he says when he grows up he wants to be a train driver and a rock star.  Rather than dampening his spirit I will encourage him, if that’s what he wants to be then that is exactly what he can do.  

He asked for green hair and a Mohawk not long ago and while the Mohawk was something we worked around by spiking the middle of his hair with dads gel, we did allow him to colour his hair green with a temporary colour that washed out.  He was on school holidays and how was it any different from dressing up at Halloween? it wasn’t.  

I did have reservations, would the children in the street pick on him or no longer want to be his friend? I expressed my concern to Oliver but he wasn’t giving it a second thought, he was a ball of confidence, that hair colour made him feel like a rock star and with a splash of his sisters dark nail varnish, his look was completed.  It was a phase that lasted about a week, the novelty wore off and now he just wants to be a train driver, but that’s ok we both told him, as long as he is happy he can be whatever he wants to be and he will be brilliant at that.

All 6 of my children have their own quirks and I love them all the more for embracing them.  My eldest Jack wants to become a politician, where he got the passion from I do not know, but that is what he wants to do and we will support him as much as we can. My eldest daughter Ava loves to dress in a very quirky manner, she is very beautiful but she has her own fashion style where she will stand out from the crowd instead of blending in, Go for it I say. Our two toddlers Ruben and Nell are rarely seen without the other so as you can imagine they get up to a lot of trouble, with just a year between them they are like twins and they cause double the chaos.  They both have a tendency to get dressed together of a morning, Ruben dresses himself and ALWAYS purposely wears his clothing back to front, Nell tries but needs help from myself, within half an hour her pants have disappeared as have her shoes to be replaced with her older brothers shoes, highly likely Oliver’s school shoe on one foot and Rubens Croc on the other, she is happy to strut around all day pants less and odd footed all day, if she has a temper tantrum the top and nappy comes off so that’s Nell naked for the day, she likes the freedom as does Ruben and who are we to argue, Ruben uses the toilet but we do insist Nell wear her nappy.

They do have a tendency to walk out in the front garden when the children are playing out in the street but i’m pretty vigilant in bringing them back in, while im happy for them to be free spirits in the home I don’t encourage nakedness in the big wide world.  My youngest is 6 months old and who knows what quirks or traits she will have but one thing is certain, that she will be treated exactly as the other five have been, be free, be herself!!!

That’s all i want for them in life, free, with freedom comes happiness and i know this from personal experience.  Yes there are times when we all have to stifle our freedom somewhat but these times are few and far between, im talking about occasions where school, work, etc doesn’t come into the equation, im talking in their own time.  

So if my children don’t want to go to university, or they want to become an art student (like myself) or just dress up in a flamingo outfit with a wok on their head then that is totally up to them, whilst they aren’t hurting anyone, myself and my husband are happy to give them their freedom and hopefully it will make them more confident and content in who they are as they grow into beautiful people in the future.

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